Just Gotta Let it Out
I have a lot of things on my mind this evening and after reading Wendy’s post, I’m gonna let some things out. First, for those of you who haven’t figured it out yet, I maintain 3 blogs daily; My Wooden Spoon, Blogging with Cents, and this one. I have more but these are my main focus. I have a very tight schedule and am extremely overwhelmed at times. Time is not the main topic of this blog but it does play a part.
MY BABY
Blogging with Cents is probably my biggest achievement in the blogosphere but it’s also the hardest to keep up with for several reasons. Networking & content are two that I struggle with. I don’t have any sort of spunky personality to set me apart from others so it makes it harder for me to stand out in the “make money online” niche. I have so many things that I want to do with this blog that I feel like I get absolutely nothing done. My biggest dream is to attend an affiliate summit, izeafest, or even one of those elite retreats. Unfortunately, this is something that isn’t going to happen any time soon, if at all. Have you ever had goals that you know you can reach but your lifestyle prevents it? This is how I feel.
MY READERS
I don’t think people realize how bad I feel that I don’t go around commenting on their blogs. I barely have time to read them in my reader, much less visit each one. This makes me feel low and not worthy of receiving comments on my own blogs. It may seem like something small but it means a great deal to me to have readers in the first place so I’m sorry that I don’t visit each of you, and I hope you know that you are very important to me.
This goes for the commenters on my blog. I don’t respond to comments to often, again, because my time is limited. I always try to comment to someone who has a concern or has asked a specific question. Is it enough? Absolutely not. I want to do more but I just can’t. At least not with a toddler at home. Both of these things make me feel crappy to a point that I don’t even want to blog some days. Again, I apologize to you and can only hope that you understand why I don’t respond to every comment.
JERRY SPRINGER BLOGOSPHERE
That’s how I feel sometimes when I’m surfing the blogosphere these days, like it’s just a big ol’ freak show with tons of negativity. You’ve got people whining over this or that, people bashing one another, comment whores, suck-ups, liars, and snobs. It’s just like real life folks and if you can’t deal with with real life, you sure can’t handle both real life and blogging.
I’ve also got some awesome people that say the most wonderful things to me but then I feel bad because I just don’t think I’m deserving of such comments & emails. I do know that there are some wonderful people that step forward when presented with the opportunity and I thank you for that.
ME
I don’t think people realize what goes on “behind the scenes” in the blogging world, especially when you are trying to make money from it. I try to stay mentally sane and for the most part, I think I put on a pretty good show but in reality, it’s taking its toll on me. I’m tired, aggravated, and slightly depressed about everything I can’t do and/or don’t get done. I’m tired of people thinking I’m sucking up to them when in all actuality, I am inspired by them. I’m tired of snobby people who think they’re better than me. I’m just tired of it all.
I don’t have any kind of college degree, in fact, I dropped out the first week of my junior year. Everything I know is self taught for the most part. Yes, I’ve asked a few questions along the way but I have studied, researched, and stamped as much info in my brain as I can and am damn proud of what I have accomplished on my own. Does this make me less of person because I don’t have those fancy degrees? No, it just means that I have to work harder because of my past mistakes.
MY WEIGHT
I make jokes all the time about my weight but I must confess, it’s something that is on my mind 24/7. In fact, sometimes I just lay in bed crying wondering why I can’t get my fat ass to lose weight. Obviously, I’m fully aware of why I can’t so it really comes down to my laziness and severe lack of motivation. I hate being fat though. I don’t want to go anywhere because I can’t fit in any clothes. I don’t like to go to any place that has a buffet for fear of the looks. It makes me sick to look in the mirror when I saw myself dancing, I was absolutely disgusted. While I appreciate the kind words, “You’re not fat”…it just makes me feel worse because I know my weight and that I am approaching certain risks that can cause some really bad health problems. I have always been told that I’m ‘not as fat’ as my weight says but it doesn’t mean I’m not fat. I am and I need to deal with it.
WHAT NOW
Some things have been said about me and I have now let those things go. I will not allow that kind of negative energy into my house! I will make weightloss a priority. I will strive harder to be a better blogger. I will keep on a truckin’ as always and plan to have a little more fun doing it!
I realize some of you may not know what the hec I’m even talking about but it was just something that I needed to let out. I hope you don’t mind. I’m not trying to sound depressing either. I am a real person with real problems and I’m NOT superwoman despite what some of you may think;)
Now, I’m off to a decent nights sleep on our memory foam mattress and my new pillow. **Hopefully**
>
Lori,
One day at a time. That’s all you can do!
:dance:
You just keep writing and I’ll keep reading! (I made it to the second week of my junior year! *HUGS*) Vent all you want, that’s what these personal blogs are for.
Leigh’s last blog post..Not Doing Much
Lori, Letting it out is a good policy to live by. Say what you need too and deep down people will respect you for it. We all do the best we can and as long as we learn from our mistakes and learn along the way, that IS enough. As for commenting, I believe etiquette should dictate using the Golden Rule on blogs as well in life. Being appreciative of people’s comments and answering questions is great and maybe one day when the toddler starts school your time will loosen up to do more ~ just keep plugging away and it will get better. In the meantime, the rest of us will keep reading and enjoying.
:wave:
Let it out sister!! :awesome:
I’ll comment on the weight issue, b/c it effects me. But…my DH doesn’t care how I look, but I don’t think he’d like me to be 400lbs either. I’m closer to 180. (eep.) Anyway…I’ve beat myself up and now realized that what I should do is buy some clothes that flatter me. I know that is a serious undertaking…you have to go and find the right size. Not what you pretend you wear. And I think that you would probably feel better if you got some nicer clothes that fit and made you comfortable. I know that if you are wearing clothes that are too small, or that are unflattering, it’s going to be discouraging. And if you look nice, and feel nicer, than who cares if they are looking at you in the Buffet line. If you are happy, and at least trying to lose weight, flip those gawkers the bird! :o
And keep a positive attitude. Once you feel better about yourself, you won’t be getting down and that’s when you start to snack. If you get positive and start walking or something that simple, you’ll feel a lot better. Get the little man on his bike, walk and clear your head. It will help your whole outlook.
OK, off my soapbox. :good:
Katie Skiff’s last blog post..Swaps
I completely relate to you on the weight issue. I too think of it 24/7 and it’s the hardest thing to deal with.
DeeBee’s last blog post..Guess what I saw today?
Lori,
It is hard to believe that people right negative mean stuff to you. I think you do a great job. I read your blog everyday and if you get to mine, fine. I don’t read your blog so that you read mine. I think people say mean things to other people on the internet because they’re behind a screen and feel like they can. They’re cowards. I get a comment now and then and at first it upsets me but now I delete it. Those people don’t even deserve my time. Focus on the positive and that’s what you’ll attract. Keep up the good work and as for your weight…do you love yourself? That’s what matters. I lost 60 pounds and it was a moment of “no more” that did it for me.
Sommer’s last blog post..Win a Sexy & Sassy Organic Tee!
I feel the same way about a lot of things as you do, and I’ve cut back on my blogging because of it. I do a lot of reading, and I don’t like what i see, and I know that I produce some of those same things that I don’t like. I’m working on that.
I really appreciate it that you appreciate me, and I hope everyone knows that I don’t say anything I don’t mean. Good and bad.
Maybe we should get together and start a weight-loss blog. I’m to the point where I’m concerned for my health, and I don’t know why the benefits of eating cheesecake for breakfast are still out weighting those of being healthy.
corrin’s last blog post..And her name is…
…Just started reading you from the UBP and not about to stop now! A personal blog is just that…personal. You get to say what you want, do what you want and that’s all I got to say about that. ;)
Jenny867-5309’s last blog post..WW – NO MORE SNOW!
Lori, Thanks for being human and showing it! I think it’s healthier for us to live life ~ the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m sorry you’ve gotten negative remarks from people.I wish people would learn to respect each other and stop judging each other.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. It doesn’t matter what you weigh. Being healthy is more important. You’ve got a family that loves you. Find a way to love yourself and forget about what anyone else thinks! I’m starting to walk 3 miles a day ~ wanna join me?
HUGZ
Honestly, I used to weigh about 50 pounds more than I do now. I’ve kept it off for almost 15 years – and the secret to my success? I stopped beating myself up about it.
I hear you being so hard on yourself and it hurts to see you doing that to yourself. You wouldn’t do that to your babies, so what makes you think it’s ok to do it to yourself?
Thankfully it looks like you have a lot of people around you on this blog and in real life that will love you no matter what you look like (which I think is pretty dang good, I might add). Hopefully you can start seeing yourself the way they see you – beautiful on the inside and out.
(I know I can see it, and I hardly know you. YES, it’s THAT obvious). :)
Don’t know what Wendy said but don’t be so hard on yourself. All I can say is prioritize. Keep what is important and get rid of what eats your well being away. You are the only one who can answer that. But be honest with yourself.
I have to tell ya. No one cares that you don’t have a college degree. The world doesn’t need any more educated idiots! It takes real intelligence to do what you do and become self-taught.
We all feel depressed at times. You’ll work thru this. You have a bunch of people here cheering you on. Here is my cheer:
BE LOUD AND PROUD! :yahoo:
farmnwife’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
I just found your blog this past week and I’m spellbound. You are so able to give a detailed description of your life that makes me feel as if I’m right there in the room and we are chatting over a cup of tea or dr.pepper. I love the ability to actually step into your world which is so totally alien from mine and to see life from a different perspective. I’ve got the biggest kick out of reading your blog and will continue to do so. I’m 50, single and live with my cat so your life is considerably fuller than mine but it’s the aspects of your farm life that really capture my intense interest. I want to know so much how other people live and go about their daily lives and your doing a grand job of sharing just that. I can’t imagine doing all the farm work with 2 boys then add a toddler to the mix and I’d be pulling my hair out. When I was young and pretty I would only date the best looking guys,now I look for a guy with a sense of humor and the ability to put 2 sentences together. Life is short, it’s not fair and bad things happen to good people. I fully believe we get what we give and I’m happy to have stumbled onto your blog and added your story to people I know. thanks have a wonderful day and keep writing …pam
Lori,
1.) You can feel good that you take time to spend with your baby every day, and also with the rest of your guys. That’s what really counts!
2.) You have a great journalistic style. I’ve commented several times about posts that were really professional. You’ve accomplished a lot.
3.) The best “diet” is just to try to eat healthier. I would always set a goal to lose 5 lb. at a time. When I lost 5 lbs, I would reward myself. Then in a week or two, I’d start on the next 5 lbs. It was a lot easier for me to think about 5 lbs at a time. You’ve already taken the first step, you want to lose weight for your health. I know you can do it, and you have great friends to support you.
Charla’s last blog post..See the Stars at the Dark Sky Festival
Gee, Lori, thanks so much for associating my name with the phrase “comment whores”. I couldn’t help laughing about that, but I’m sure your readers are smart enough to realize that I was complaining about them, not being one.
Still, I got a good chuckle out of seeing that alert pop up in my InBox.
Kate’s last blog post..Day In The Life of a A ProBlogging-Homeschooler
Oh yes, sometimes you just have to let it all out! I don’t know the particular background story, but I sure know the feeling and can sympathize – there’s a lot of work to keeping up just one blog, let alone a handful of them, and I think we’ve all felt the pressure from time to time (even without a bunch of negativity coming in to drag you down!) – and wow, just to think you’re trying to juggle all these things with a toddler at your knee, too! It isn’t necessary to be Superwoman – that’s a good step *down* from Cowboy’s Wife, if you ask me! :) And one big thing you’ve got going for you is a genuine ability to write.
Girl I feel your pain in many of these areas. The thing that has helped me the most is just to decide what makes you happy? Once I decided that I just had to do that, then everything else fell into place. Maybe just updating every other day would give you some peace of mind.
On the weight issue, you know how I identify with you there. This is something that I have struggled with for YEARS. I remember those days of not wanting to leave the house. Not having any clothes that fit. Not wanting anyone to see me like this…. Guess what, I realized that I like to be happy and have fun. If my weight bothers you then too dang bad. Yeah it still bothers me and I want to loose some weight but I’m going to let it hold me back from things in my life I love. So what if I look funny if I’m chasing my children and I look funny. Who cares if people laugh at the way I dance. Did I have fun? Hell yeah!
Girl you know I love you tons and I just want you to be happy. Just figure it out and you can do whatever it is!
Girl, cheer up. No one expects you to be perfect. Your boys love you unconditionally, the Lord loves you unconditionally, and most of all you should love yourself unconditionally. Now that you have taken a step back and analyzed your life, take a step forward and do something for yourself. I know you recently splurged on fabric and a purse, and you might have felt buyers remorse over it, but think of how good it made you feel. Now, think of something else that would make you feel just as good. It’s taking the first step that is hard.
You can do this. Put your mind to it and you can move mountains.
Dawn’s last blog post..Responsiblity
stopping by to check on you! hope today’s a better day for you.
And don’t let anything get you down. I see the photos of your boys and I know they make your day bright every single day. Focus on that.
The haters can go kick rocks!
I apologize Kate, I didn’t even think about it that way though! Hopefully people are smarter than that and know to actually read the article;)
No worries, Lori. After 5 years of blogging I don’t read much into things anymore. Who’s got that kind of energy?
If I can make a suggesting, friend-to-friend? Screw ‘em. People who write nasty things about you do so because they are too lazy to take the time to think of original good content.
You’ll have the last laugh and, if BloggingCents.com is any indication, you’ll be laughing on your way to the bank.
You. Go. Girl.
Kate’s last blog post..Blog Comments And The Art Of Conversation
[...] to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!I am overwhelmed with joy from all the nice things said from my breakdown post. Sometimes we just gotta hear words of encouragement before it sinks in, you know? I [...]
Amen to Dawn’s comment! That’s so true!
Charla’s last blog post..Are They Happy?
I just wanted you to know that I too struggled with a weight issue my whole life. I am not employed by nor have any dealings with Weight Watchers, but that is the program I used and I swear by it. I lost 30 lbs in 6 months (which was a huge loss for me as I am only 4′9″ and at the time weighed about 126 lbs, which makes such a short person, extremely roly poly!). I learned to eat as a lifestyle, indulge in treats (that’s the best part), and have kept the weight off for 5 1/2 years! Just an option to think about, and the greatest part is in can all be done online, no going out to meetings if you don’t want to. And nothing is a no-no unlike other weight loss plans! Good Luck, I’ve been there, and while the road is tough, the reward is worth it!
Hey girl, I’m totally dealing with the whole weight thing too. I also have the guilt over not networking like I should, and lately, I’m losing subscribers like crazy because of you know what. Some people do it better. ;-)
Sitting in front of the computer during my spare time has done nothing for my weight. I’ve started exercising–we’re doing this Walk Across Texas thing at work. (I need to “walk” over to where you live! That’d burn a few.) I’m also looking at some other lifestyle changes, because I can’t give up blogging! Still, it gets overwhelming. I hope you’re in a better spot now.
Bloggrrl’s last blog post..How to Make Money Blogging Without Being Annoying