5 Ways to Become the Perfect Idiot

  1. Driving~~Be sure to drive 50mph in the fast lane on an 75mph highway.  By doing this, you will get the horn honked at you and the finger shot at you, therefore making you a perfect idiot.
  2. Fast Food~~When you’re at McDonalds, be sure to hold up the line staring at the menu for 5 whole minutes. Since McDonald’s menu never changes, this will cause the people behind you to start whispering “What an idiot, everybody knows what’s on a McDonalds menu!”
  3. Husbands & kids~~When looking for something, be sure NOT to move things around or look under stuff to find it and ALWAYS say is “Where is it???…Where??..I don’t see it?” BEFORE you actually look for it.   I won’t call them idiots but…..
  4. Forums~~(asker)ALWAYS ask a question that has already been answered multiple times and can easily be found by doing a search.  (answerer)ALWAYS answer questions with phrases like “Good luck with getting an answer to that question” and “?”. Both are fine examples to becoming the perfect idiot.
  5. Writing~~NEVER use spellcheck! Never use any punctuation or capitalization.  ALWAYS write at least one dumb thing that doesn’t match the rest of the story.  Try to use words that you don’t know the meaning of.  Doing all these things will definitely make you the perfect idiot

This is my submission into Litemind’s group writing project contest.  I must admit, I had never been to this site before and found some very interesting topics while visiting.  I am now a subscriber.  Anyways, to learn more about the contest, you can simply check out his blog:) 

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  1. 1

    zxczxc says

    :ban: :stupid:

  2. 2

    Your number 1 way truly is number 1! I’ve never understood the mentality of people who think it’s ok to drive slow in the fast lane, but the drive me nuts.

  3. 3

    Haha, these are funny Cowboytfon! I’m sure there are 101 ways that we can be the perfect idiot, and I’m guilty of some of those that you have mentioned. =))