Finding Faith – Believing and Reaching Out

Previously on Finding Faith, I talked about my struggles with faith and  whether or not God truly exists in my eyes.  On the 3 hour flight to New York, I was able to finish the book I started called “The Case for Christ“.

When I first started reading the book on the plane, I noticed right away that the person beside me and across me were checking out the title of the book.  I felt uneasy and, to be honest, I didn’t want them to think I was some religious freak…..I know that doesn’t sound nice, but that’s how I felt.  As I reached the end of the book, I noticed myself so deep into the book that I didn’t even pay attention to anyone who was around.  I was engaged with the evidence and the questions that were thrown at me throughout the book.

Now right away, the first thing I felt while reading the book was that I knew that I did believe there was a God but I still wasn’t sure that there was still a God.  Comprende?  My favorite thing about this book is that it gives you the facts, the hardcore evidence and not only shows you that side but also shows you a list of why you might disagree or not believe.  Then, you are able to make your own choice based on what YOU believe, not what he believes.

Towards the end of the book, I wanted to cry.  I don’t know why I wanted to cry but I think my heart truly wants to believe that he is still here and can help me.  So anyways, at the end, Lee (the author) does this comparison that really woke me up and made me think.  Here it is…….

leesI have always struggled with talking to God…I feel very uncomfortable and silly really but later in the chapter Lee says, “What have you got to lose?”.  And the truth is, I don’t have anything to lose.  I mean, it can’t hurt anything right?

So I get to NYC and have this amazing experience with such kind-hearted, very special women and have some personal moments from a few of them that made me realize that they believe in me and I mean truly believe in me.  I could feel it.  I often put myself down…it’s part habit and part how I truly see myself.  I’ve experienced some unfortunate things in my life and have never felt “good enough” or deserving.   Anyways, it was these ladies saying such inspirational things to me that made me realize, even if for a brief moment, that if they can believe in me, then I should at least try to believe in myself.  For me, that means reaching out for help and putting faith, no matter how little it may be, into someone like Lee did with the police officer and like I’m doing with my friends and with the prayer.

On the plane ride home, I asked God for help.  It wasn’t some well thought out prayer (if you even call it a prayer) or anything like that.  It was a few sentences that were said under my breath…..that went like this:

God, if you are really there, I’m asking you to help me find you, to believe in you.  I feel silly saying all this, especially on a plane, but if you are there, please help me to see you.

So that’s it………it’s lame really but it’s all I could think of saying without feeling like an idiot.  And now I’m home, waiting for the next book,  Lee Strobel– The Case for Faith, to arrive at my door.

I owe all the ladies I met in New York a great big hug but I especially want to thank Chris, Alyssa, and Arianne because it was them three that brought out that itty-bitty bit of faith out in me for me to even get this far.

Join The Discussion

*

 SUBSCRIBE TO GET UPDATES AND SPECIAL GIVEAWAYS JUST FOR BEING AN EMAIL SUBSCRIBER! 

Comments

  1. 1

    I just found your blog. Wow! What an amazing first post for me to read. Thank you so much for your honesty and transparency. I’m following you and I can’t wait to see how you work things out.

    Miss Mouthys last blog post..Are YOU a good parent?

  2. 2

    Lori,

    Great post. I can understand where you are coming from but don’t be ashamed at where you were or how you feel about religion and faith. Many people feel as you do but don’t admit it. This is why I admire you so much. Your honesty and friendship is amazing. I can’t wait to meet you in Chicago. Maybe you can try the green pans for me? Non-Toxic and Non-Stick…I’m in heaven. LOL!

    Sommer-Green and Clean Moms last blog post..Cell Phone Use Dangerous to Children

  3. 3


    Ellen Lee says

    Hi Lori, Interesting coincidence here. When we finally get to the point of saying “God if you’re out there…if you really exsist…” things start to happen. Amazing, miraculous things! Yesterday, perhaps as you were writing this great post, I was remembering -and posting about- what happened in my life when I prayed exactly those same words. Your blog is added to my “watch” list, and you are added to my “prayer” list. I know it’s gonna be great to see what He does in your life. You’ll be blessed beyond your wildest imagination.
    hugs,
    e

    Ellen Lees last blog post..so why the sparrow’s home?

  4. 4


    Lori S. says

    Lori, you’ve started an amazing journey! :) It won’t always be easy, but keep searching. Keep reaching out. And don’t be afraid to open your heart like you have in this post; you’ll be amazed at how much love and support you receive. :)God PROMISES that “You’ll seek Me, and find Me, when you seek me with ALL YOUR HEART.”
    BE BLESSED!!!

    Lori S.s last blog post..Here I am!

  5. 5

    Lori, I know we’ve tweeted briefly on this. I dropped by today, not that I don’t always stop by, but Saturdays I’m usually offline.

    I am truly inspired by you! I know God is there for you. You have made great success with all of your endeavors and He is blessing you! God has such bigger dreams for us than we even have for ourselves – crazy, but true!

    I’m so thankful that you had those three ladies over the weekend to give you that encouragement. That was completely orchestrated by God. There is no such thing as a coincidence, it’s all God. And, I don’t want to sound like a Jesus Freak or all religious or anything (although I’m cool with it if I do) because that’s just not my style. I’m just really happy to read this after knowing what you shared before about losing faith – believe me, everyone goes through it!

    And, your prayer is by no means lame! God doesn’t need a long drawn out prayer from us. He just needs us to come as we are with whatever babble that comes out!

    And, my BFF is reading that book and she says it’s opened her eyes to an entirely new way of thinking! She’s been a believer but I think it is going to help her as she speaks to non-believers. I’m going to read the book now because of what you have shared here :-)

    Sorry I wrote a book. I was moved and I will be praying for you!

  6. 6


    Audrey - Mom Generations says

    That is beautiful Lori…
    Keep the faith…
    It’s there. And real.
    I promise.
    You are remarkable. And I want you to always know that.

  7. 7

    What a beautiful and honest post. I recommend you read, The Shack, by Wm. Paul Young if you haven’t yet. It made God more real for me than I have felt in a long time. I’ll be praying for you!

    Melissa Multitasking Mamas last blog post..Praying for the President

  8. 8


    Walter says

    “I have always struggled with talking to God…I feel very uncomfortable and silly really but later in the chapter Lee says, “What have you got to lose?”. And the truth is, I don’t have anything to lose. I mean, it can’t hurt anything right?”

    To fully understand exactly what it can hurt, is hurting, and will continue to hurt, i’d recommend to you The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins.

    http://www.amazon.com/God-Delusion-Richard-Dawkins/dp/0618680004

    *I apologize if that sounds hostile or pushy. I am merely offering a set of ideas I find profoundly important and would like to share, especially when it comes to religion.

  9. 9

    Lori, wow! What a raw and honest post. You are an intelligent, beautiful, and truly caring woman and I am so blessed to consider myself your friend. You should believe in yourself 100% because you have so much to offer – I am amazed by everything that you do!

    Faith isn’t always just one huge leap – sometimes it takes lots of little ones over a longer period of time. Your prayer was perfect in God’s eyes, and I hope you see that. For me, having faith in God is one of the most confusing but rewarding things ever, but nothing is ever without a struggle. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.

  10. 10


    Christine says

    Lori,

    I read this last night and couldn’t stop crying. I still don’t know what to say…

    Love you!

    Christines last blog post..A sweet way to treat your bloggy friends this Valentine’s Day!

  11. 11


    Maria M says

    God believes in all of us even if we don’t always believe in him. It’s hard sometimes but I have no doubt that you will find what you are searching for.

    I can see that you have a lot of supporters which is an amazing gift. I will be praying for you. I wish you a lot of light in your continuing journey of faith.

    Maria Ms last blog post..The Orange Piece of Scribbled Paper

  12. 12


    Courtney says

    I have always believed in God and still struggle daily with my faith. Another book I would recommend is Faith and Doubt by John Ortberg, it speaks about how everyone has doubts about God and how to use that doubt to actually strengthen our faith. I learned a lot form it.

    Courtneys last blog post..Follow Me Fred

  13. 13


    Jessica says

    I think it’s awesome that you were able to post something so honest. You don’t sound lame at all. God accepts us where we’re at, which is so great! Don’t be discouraged by David, who commented above, he just isn’t where you are at. Keep your eyes toward Jesus and be encouraged!

    Jessicas last blog post..Save on Eating Out with Kids

  14. 14


    Debbie says

    This was a great post. I am crying, too. You know – prayer doesn’t have to be “pretty” – it doesn’t have to be formal – it’s just exactly what you did – crying out to God to help you find Him. That’s all He asks.

    I’m praying with you – and for you. There can be a lot of things – rational things – that stand in our way of “stepping out in faith” – but that’s because Faith is not rational and cannot be explained – it can only be experienced.

    Debbies last blog post..Mom Inspirations

  15. 15


    Lucrecia says

    It is the furthest thing from lame! And in my humble opinon, it doesn’t matter what you call it when you talk to God, as long as you are talking.

    There have been many times of doubt in my life. As a matter of fact, our pastor often talks about his struggles with doubt and such in his sermons. I can’t count the number of times I’ve prayed that God would show me what He wanted, and I didn’t need some subtle little hint or voice or gut feeling, I needed neon lights and burning bushes! When I ask, he almost always delivers what I need (though often not what I thought I wanted).

    Lucrecias last blog post..Who made up that rule?

  16. 16


    Edward says

    Do all the devoted Christians who die in fires simply lack the required faith to let Jesus save them?

    That would be the implied message.

    I have no problem with faith, but any claim of answered prayers or miraculous intervention carries with it an implication that God simply didn’t care about anybody else in those same situations.

    When the plane went down in the Hudson River recently, many close to me said that it was God’s will that those people didn’t die. I guess God just wanted every other plane-crash victim to die horribly.

    I do appreciate your story, and have tremendous respect for the strength of will required to take that first step towards credulous belief. However, the excerpt from the book should be insulting to every person who has ever lost a loved one, regardless of their faith.

  17. 17

    I’m so proud of you for sharing your journey so openly! I’ve told you before that I believe everything happens for a reason, and I truly believe there is a purpose for us all being brought together in the way that we have been. Looking forward to the future!

    Tara @ Deal Seeking Moms last blog post..Walgreens Deals Week of 1/18/09

  18. 18


    A Cowboy's Wife says

    @Edward

    I think, just like the Bible, anything that is written or said can be interpreted in many different ways including what I wrote. I never looked at it in the way you are saying at all and I can totally understand where you are coming from, especially after losing my MIL so suddenly.

    But, the reason that particular excerpt stood out for me, was because it was saying that just because you don’t see him, doesn’t mean he’s not there reaching out to help you. Sometimes you just have to trust.

    I appreciate your comment.

    Lori

  19. 19


    sue Thompson says

    Wow! I am so impressed that you have taken the time to gather all the information in order to form your own belief of just who God is!! You do have nothing to lose and everything to gain!
    It is hard to understand why God chooses to answer some prayers and not others but He says is all for the good of those who believe! And I can tell you from my own life and tragic events, death of my own father for example, that I can see how God has worked that into the lives of so many.
    And if I get to the end of my life and find out that it is all wrong than I have lost nothing and helped a whole lot of people have better, happier, more productive lives here on earth. But if I am correct, and there is a God then I spend all eternity in GLORY! I can’t imagine going through my life believing in nothing or worse myself.
    Faith is trusting what you can not see, GOD!! Love your prayer, and pray that God would reveal Himself to you, you will be AMAZED!
    Blessings to you. I too will be praying for you! Thanks so much for sharing your heart and your journey with us! It is inspiring!

  20. 20


    Doreen says

    Hi Lori,

    I enjoyed reading your post and I’m glad you’re reading Lee’s books–they’re wonderful. I don’t think your Prayer was lame at all! No way. I think it’s a good starting point in just being real with the Lord. :) One of my resolutions this new year is to read a chapter of the Bible daily and grow closer to Him. Once you have Him in your life, you will never want to turn back! I pray that your desire is to draw closer daily to the Lord. In Matthew 7, I love verse 7 where it says: ” Keep on asking and it will be given you: keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking (reverently) and (the door) will be opened to you”. Hebrews 11 is a wonderful Faith Chapter on heroes and heroines of faith that have gone before us.

    Hugs,
    Doreen
    “For we walk by faith and not by sight.”

  21. 21

    I think everyone struggles with doubt in their life sometime. I won’t quit praying though. I truly believe that: if God will bring you to it, he’ll also bring you through it….and you only get as much as He knows you can handle, but does He have to have so much faith in me? Truly I feel like I have blessed many times…I try to focus on the good even though life has not been a bowl of chocolate. Sorry to get all preachy….have a great weekend.

    Wunderwomans last blog post..Hey!! You, yeah You, come back here…….

  22. 22

    I just felt a real calling to comment on this post, First off ALL prayers are answered. Sometimes immediatly, sometimes years down the road, and sometimes the answer is simply NO! God knows the big picture and knows what is BEST overall. We are all a very small part of that big picture. The best way to explain this in our terms is, if you are a parent and you tell your kids NO (Just because you better understand what is best for them) It might not be the answer they wanted, but you understand that now or long term it is the best answer.
    The world is filled with free will and all our actions create consiquences. Some Good Some Bad, but it is always a product of the choices we have made.
    There are miracles everyday! Some huge some small, but the real key is making sure our eyes are open to see them! God does not want us to suffer or be killed in a fire or plane crash or any other horrible form of death. THe miracle on the Hudson, happened for a reason, and that reason may be apparent to some one on that plane now or years from now, but it did happen for a reason! Dealing with the death of others is not easy, but if you are a saved Christian, you understand that the world we live in is just a very short part of our lives. We live for eternity with God in Heaven.
    GOD DID NOT EVEN SAVE HIS SON FROM DYING ON THE CROSS, so I think it is very selfish for anyone to say that he does not care about people who die in fires or airplanes. Yes, God could have saved Jesus (but Jesus prayed your will be done) In the big picture Jesus had to die on the cross for all of us to be saved! Those people that are saved from death are saved for a reason that we do not know.
    Lori, I hope this helps in your new walk with God! You are a sweet girl, and I am blessed to have met you.

  23. 23


    Charla says

    Lori, I knew my comment was going to be too long, so I wrote a post on my blog about it. I wanted to share one of my faith experiences with you. So my comment to you is on my blog.
    You are dear to so many people as evidenced by the above comments! You are not only in their prayers but mine as well.

    Charlas last blog post..In Response to Finding Faith

  24. 24


    Tanya Moyer says

    Lori -

    Thanks so much for sharing your heart! I truly believe God meets us where we are! That whispered prayer on an airplane was all He needed to start revealing who He is. As one previous commenter wrote “You will seek Me and Find Me, when you seek Me with your WHOLE heart!” I will be praying for you!
    ~Tanya

  25. 25


    Kay M. says

    Lori, your prayer was NOT lame! In I Thessalonians 5:17 God says “Pray without ceasing”. He doesnt need or want some long drawn out formal prayer. He wants us to talk to Him like we are talking to a friend, because that is what He is. I am a preachers daughter who has fallen plenty of times, but He has always been there to lift me back up. He sent all of those ladies, and all of us, to help lift you back up. He is always there, if we let him reach out and rescue us! Faith is all he asks, all you need! Welcome back.

  26. 26

    I applaud you and the courage it takes to speak so openly about finding faith. Even to a non-believer, I know they’d have respect for you taking the time to really decide on what/who to believe in. I think that is extremely important.

    Another book you might want to add to your list (which is somewhat hard to find these days) that absolutely changed my life is “A Violent Grace” by Michael Card. UH-MAY-ZING! That book brought me from trying to find God (note: “trying to find God” always sounds so silly to me, but I don’t know what else to call it) to the complete other side of not only believing in Jesus Christ, but understanding completely just how deep God’s love is for us. I can almost guarantee you’ll finish the book in a day. It’s that intense!

    I know there will be a huge group of men and women out there who will support you in this journey because most of us believers have been right where you are. I’m praying my children are the children who are raised always knowing and always believing and won’t have to ever “find” God. They’ll know and believe God has always been and always will be with them. Know that you have a huge group of people out there praying for you right now and a God who is rejoicing and happy you’re on your way “home”.

    Homemaker Heros last blog post..What’s In Your Planner?

  27. 27

    I love that story. That’s often how I feel. I know there is something, and it’s stories like that, like signs presented before us when we’re struggling with what to do, or even if we aren’t struggling, something just shows us the way. Love it. Great job!

    Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parentingcs last blog post..Beside Myself

  28. 28

    I’m so moved by this post, so humbled. You talking to God on the plane, that is what it’s all about. A genuine connection from your heart. It doesn’t have to be any sort of “official” prayer, just reaching out will bring good things to you. More understanding, more faith.

    I think what Edward seems to be missing is that when “bad” things happen, it’s not because God doesn’t care, but rather because God allowed it for His own purposes. I don’t pretend to know why good people die, but I do know that my own wisdom is tiny compared to the all knowing God. Many times bad things have happened to me and later, maybe even years later, I can understand why they had to happen the way they did. Some things I will never understand, but I’m ok with that.

    Lori I can’t wait to read about your journey, it makes me feel honored to read what your mind goes through in figuring all this out. I know you will find what you are searching for. xoxo

    `A

    To Think Is To Creates last blog post..Baby Yum: Earth’s Best Giveaway!

  29. 29


    Connie says

    Posting about such a personal part of your life is not only helpful for anyone who is on the same journey, but proves just how real you are. I’ve always considered you to be one of the most honest people I know and this post shows it, again.

    Connies last blog post..Free HBO

  30. 30


    Sunshine says

    Hi Lori, I commend you for being so open and honest with your readers. I think everyone at some point in time has had doubts, I know I have. God’s word assures us that there is STILL a God, and that He will ALWAYS be! Just as God has everlasting life, we can as well, and there is nothing more that God wants for us than that.(John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.)

    The prayer you prayed was perfect in God’s eyes because it was from the heart. He really IS here and has His arms wide open to accept you just as you are. His word is there to help you and to encourage you as you begin to believe and trust in Him.

    These are a few sites that I have found helpful in my walk with the Lord.

    http://www.gotquestions.org

    http://www.billygraham.org/SH_StepstoPeace.asp

    http://www.biblegateway.com

    If you would ever like to talk or if you ever have any questions, please contact me any time! I may not know the answer, but that would mean we could learn together! : )

    Praying for you,
    Sunshine

    Sunshines last blog post..2009 LadyBlogger Blog Awards

  31. 31


    Becca says

    Hi Lori,

    I can’t tell you how I came upon your blog because I’ve been all over the place, but I’m so excited I found this post and took the time to read it! I want to encourage you to continue to do exactly what you’re doing. The Bible says that all we have to do is knock on the door and that He will answer and do the rest. I can tell you that I’ve been a believer most all of my life and I’ve still got questions and I hope that I continue to have questions. I don’t want a blind faith, but rather, one that is constantly challenging me to really test what I believe.

    Taking the small step of faith as you have done doesn’t promise that you’ll suddenly know answers to your questions, or that you’ll be able to fully understand the amazing relationship that you’ve begun. It also doesn’t mean that you won’t experience pain & tragedy & hurt & loss, etc … It just gives you the security that you have the God of the Universe personally involved in your life – is that cool or what?!?

    And, one of the coolest things about what you’re experiencing right now is that no one can argue with your experience and feelings! People can argue theology & hard questions all day long, but they can never argue with what you are seeking for at this precise moment. Know that you have just one more person praying for you as you take this journey one step at a time.

    Lastly, thanks for your sheer honesty & transparency – you’re going to touch more lives than you will ever know as you continue this journey in front of so many readers. Congratulations and Praise God!
    Becca

    Beccas last blog post..McDonald’s 12 FREE coupons for $1

  32. 32


    Mandi says

    Hey Lori!

    I was just reading through your archives, and this post caught my eye. You write so genuinely and articulately, and this truly brought tears to my eyes. I don’t know where you are on your faith journey now, but I believe God will honor your prayer and continue to reveal Himself to you in personal ways.

    I’m so thankful I had the chance to get to know you a little bit this weekend because you are one of the most genuine, sweet people I met!

    Mandis last blog post..Maximizing Your Blogging: Saving Time with Text Expanders

  33. 33


    Jan says

    You can’t go wrong, just being real and honest with God. Don’t let the cynical people who might post things that are hateful and doubtful keep you from continuing your own journey. Also don’t let people who are “just religious” and don’t have a real relationship with God foul you up by being legalistic or trying to put you in their theological box. My prayers are with you in your search.