For years I have struggled with my Faith. It’s been a spiritual and mental battle with myself that left me with anger, lots of questions, and a never-ending desire to be at peace.
This weekend, I took a Walk to Emmaus, a spiritual walk with myself, my sisters, and the Lord. Those of you who have followed and know me, know what I must have been feeling as I was dropped off into the unknown, but I bet you’ll be shocked to know how it ended.
I never thought that my life could change so drastically within 3 days, but it did. I had the opportunity to meet some amazing women and be wrapped in the arms of love by so many, many of which I never saw. And while I’d LOVE to share my entire Walk with you, I won’t. Mostly because if you’ve never experienced the Walk to Emmaus, then you’ll never understand how profound it can be but also because there were so many sacred moments that are meant to stay between them, Him, and me.
I gave myself to the Lord on Saturday, October 15th, 2011. Not because it was the thing to do or because I was pressured (like I was many years ago). I did it because I felt Him pulling me in and telling me it was time. After asking forgiveness and telling God how angry I was at Him, I asked God to release me from that anger. I asked Him to heal my heart, my body, and my mind. In a matter of minutes, I felt this unbelievable peace come over me, like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. For the first time, I felt like there was Hope; Hope for me to be the person I’ve always wanted to be…..need to be.
The 3 days had come to an end and there was a tornado of emotions running through me. I was so excited to be going home, but also scared. Would my family see the changes? Would I be able to maintain the Holy Spirit in me in my everyday life? And then I was leaving my Sisters, the ladies who had been my lifeline during this Walk, the ones that prayed for me, the ones that knew I’d find God before I even knew it
Tonight, as I sit and write this to you all, I know that I will continue my spiritual journey. You might not see me take a mission trip anytime soon or volunteering to help with Sunday school, but I will be praying. I’ll be praying until God tells me what to do next.