The Past Four Days

So it was just New Year’s Eve when I announced on Twitter and Facebook that I had hit the 200 mark. I was shocked and disgusted with myself. I cried and cried and cried some more. I just couldn’t believe it. We all have that mark you know. The one that we say we never want to be at. Well, that was my mark. And as much as I love the nice words from folks, it’s not what I wanted to hear. That it would be okay or that I’m not that big. I am that big, it’s not okay, and I did fail. I let my peeps who support me down, I let my family down, and I let myself down. All I could think about is how my husband must silently he must look at me. He has always said that he doesn’t’ care about my weight, that I look perfect but there has to be a point where they notice and I feel it was now.

After taking a few hours to myself, reading some of the most inspiring emails, dm’s, and messages to me, I finally snapped out of it. I told myself that I have to do it. I can’t let myself get any bigger.

I instantly signed up for Weight Watchers, opened all my remaining Dr. Pepper’s & poured them down the drain, and got on the treadmill. I ran and ran until I got dizzy and puked which was stupid I know but I needed to do it. Yesterday I jogged for 20 minutes and today I burned 140 calories and jogged another 20 minutes. Well, I say jogged but first fast walked and then jogged. It felt good. Really good. I’ll be starting the Your Shape Workout soon and I think that with all the online support, I can do it. Maybe I can even find someone local to join up with once or twice a week. I need to figure out meals, food to buy, and how to handle the late night urge to snack. It’s a learning curve I know but once I get it, I’ll get it and be good at it.

I’m completely blown away by all the support and I feel more confident than ever that I’ll succeed with a little hand holding. If I can be there for you, please tell me and I hope that y’all will be here for me and each other.

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  1. says

    I’m so proud of you.. oh no wait.. BAD LORI :-) Except.. I do the same thing.. Taht first workout…

    I’m soo on the fat to fit thing! I’ve lost 2.5 pounds and it’s very motivating. I love the idea of the Your Shape.. however, I’ve been forbidden to spend more money on the Wii ;-) So, I’m using the Wii Fit Plus and going to try to walk and bike more.

    I’m quite envious that you have a treadmill. I can’t wait to see your progress xoxo

  2. says

    You Rock Lori. I know you can do it!!! 2010 is going to to physically rock for both of us…I know it. Kick some but on that kick thing. I will join you soon!!! ;)

  3. says

    Have you tried the 30 Day Shred DVD? I have always HATED exercise but it is the only regimen I have been able to faithfully keep on and I’ve been doing it for three months now. My husband even started it on New Year’s and he says he can feel a difference in just four days. We’re about the same height and build (200 is the number that I was getting uncomfortably close to that spurred me to buy the DVD) and although it hasn’t made me lose a whole lot of weight yet, I think it’s because I’ve actually gained a lot of muscle. So I am hoping that once I firm up all over, the fat will start to burn off… anyway, it’s less than $10 on Amazon and each workout is about 25 minutes per day so it’s very do-able. I’ve noticed that it’s changed my attitude about what I decide to eat, too. I still like to cook and bake but my portions are getting smaller and I find myself making better choices.

  4. says

    Lori you are going to be Fit and even more fab (as if thats possible) in 2010 ! :)

    You have my support! I have every weight watchers and hungry girl book under the sun… feel free to contact me if you need ideas :)

    …like the vita-tops… gotta have the vitatops.

  5. says

    Lori, you CAN do it!

    I have “my mark” that I reached and, like you, felt like I let myself, my kids, and my husband down.

    Your Shape is an awesome way to do it. I also own the game from having a House Party with Your Shape and it has KICKED. MY. BUTT.

    I can run miles and miles easily, but this thing? It literally pushes you.

    You can do it sweet Momma! I think I may have to repeat that for myself. WE can do it!

  6. says

    as usual i’m late to the party but just checking out your blog now. i am so proud of you for sharing your story so you can get the support you need. you can TOTALLY do it. if you want support, help, advice on exercise plans, anything at all, i am there for you. the running will be great combined with the lifestyle changes for eating. also, i know others have raved about the 30 day shred video. i actually just started doing it 2 weeks ago — and even I thought it was amazing and you know i used to be a hard core competitive runner. i needed something to keep me moving in winter and fit when it was too cold to go outdoors and too tough to find a time to exercise with 2 kids and no sitter. i really was impressed with her 20 mins workout and how many muscles we worked. i noticed more toning in just a few times of use! (sadly i’ve had to stop exercising in last week – no big deal about not exercising, but big deal b/c it is on doctors orders of me suddenly having super high blood pressure so i am freaking out) can’t wait to see you in florida. xo col