Tips for Men

I know that men have a hard time understanding what we women are trying to say sometimes, so I thought I would make this a bit clearer for you. 

I suggest you read and memorize them.  If this is too much for you to remember, print them out for later reference. You may want to keep a copy in your pocket at all times for easy access.

• I’m not upset=Of course I’m upset, you idiot.
• I need=I want
• Sure, go ahead=No, I don’t want you to
• Are you listening to me?=Too late now, you’re gonna pay
• Is my butt fat?=Tell me I’m beautiful
• Yes=NO
• No=NO
• Maybe=NO
• I’m sorry=You’ll be sorry
• We need to talk=I need to complain

I know men also have a hard time answering our everyday questions so, again, I thought I would share with you some tips on what NOT to say.

Question 1:  What are you thinking about?

     Do NOT say: How fat you are.

                               Football

                               “If I wanted you to know, then I would tell you”

Question 2: Do I look fat?

     Do NOT say: A little extra weight looks good on you

                              I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin

                              I’ve see fatter

Question 3: Do you think she’s prettier than me?

     Do NOT say:Not as pretty as you were when you were her age

                              Yeah, but you have more personality

                              No, not really

And for my final tip…..  We women know everything so don’t waste your time argueing, instead, use that time by cleaning the house:)