Earlier this year, while driving to Galveston with some cool peeps (not as cool as me of course but ya know…) I started to tell a story that totally went another direction. Ever since then, it has been on my mind like crazy and so I thought I’d finally close that chapter in my mind and share it with you.
My blogging career began in 2007. I didn’t even know what a blog was but just wanted to make money because we were dirt poor. I did a ton of research that landed me in the affiliate marketing blogging niche. I got to where I did so well that I was flying out to Vegas for Blog World and hanging out with John Chow. Somewhere along the way (winning a flight & conference ticket to Blogher), I got in the mom blogging niche and it was awesome. During those few years, though, I spent HOURS on the computer. I did what it took to get invited to those events, hang with celebrities, and make $$$ per post. I worked hard from before sun up, to well into 2 and 3 in the morning. And then I got burnt out.
Did you know there was a time when other bloggers would come up to me, squeal with “it’s a cowboy’s wife”, and ask to take a picture with me? There were times when my name/blog was used in slideshows in PR meetings with brands because of my authenticity and personable writing style. There were times when I hung out with celebrities and rode in limos and stayed in fancy hotels and walked red carpets and so on and so on. I experienced it all with these incredible, awesome blogger friends who, I feel like, were so very humble. Seriously, we would blush at such moments of others wanting selfies with us. We also got the best laughs out of it. We’d crack up at each other saying, “ohhhhh, you’re kind of a big deal.” It was hilarious and all in fun because we NEVER, EVER thought we were a big deal. And for me personally, I hated to be the center of any kind of attention. Still do.
Fast forward several years. I was mentally exhausted. Heck, I was physically exhausted. I flew so much to events and conferences that I was given first class just about every time. THAT is a lot of flying y’all. I was going and going and writing and writing. I was sick of going and sick of blogging. I was tired.
I guess you could say I quit blogging for a while. I did enough to get by and have a few perks here and there but it wasn’t the same. Then life happens. Kids graduate, my dad died, we moved my mom up this direction, etc. Before I knew it, all my PR contact’s emails bounced back because there were new PR people now. I wasn’t getting any campaigns. I wasn’t invited to events. I felt like a new blogger, lost in a sea of big blog fish. It set me in a state of depression. I felt not good enough and purposeless. Is that a word? Anyways, I felt like I was starting over.
I look back and think wow, maybe I was kind of a big deal, even if in my own little world…..but now I’m not and haven’t been for some time and it’s quite humbling. I’m having to take those paid posts that other bloggers don’t want because it’s well below your required amount. I’m having to, on occasion, beg for work. I have to watch all my blogging friends continue to soar in blogging because they didn’t give up like I did.
I’ve had lots of highs and lots of lows and I try to tell myself that God has a plan for me. There may have been things He put in front of me, that I didn’t follow, that would have made for a much easier path, but I do feel like I’m a better person for having experienced all of it.
If you have followed me long enough, you have probably seen this storyline play out. If you’re still reading, thank you.